How to Think of Random Facts About Yourself

Weird, Wacky and Hilariously Random Things on the Internet

Photo Courtesy: Austin Distel/Unsplash

The internet's biggest pro and also its biggest con are that anyone can post online. Anyone. Needless to say, there are some users out there who are a tad more...unique than the rest of us. Here you'll find a collection of some of the weirdest and most delightfully random things on the internet. Prepare to discover everything from websites that make zero sense to products you won't believe you can actually buy.

This Guy's Barter Offer

Given that Craigslist is pretty much the Wild West of marketplaces, it's no surprise that some really odd offers have ended up on its forums. In 2013, however, a Baltimore man took the cake with this internet gem.

Photo Courtesy: Craigslist

He presented the world with an offer it definitely could refuse in the form of his belly button lint collection. Announcing that he was up to doing a little bartering, he offered to exchange the lint for things like motorcycles, muscle cars, gold coins and other valuables. No word on whether that ever panned out for him.

"Shoes"

If you've yet to feast your eyes on this video, then prepare for the most hilariously random three minutes of your life. It's actually been around for a while and has been cracking up deliriously tired people for nearly a decade.

Photo Courtesy: LiamKyleSullivan/YouTube

Its creator, Liam Kyle Sullivan, dresses up as a ditzy girl character named Kelly, whose random adventures are explored in a variety of music videos. Though "Shoes" is definitely one of her most popular masterpieces, it's neck and neck with her music video "Lemme Borrow That Top" in terms of hilarity.

Eel Slap

Do you ever get so mad that you just want to slap a guy with an eel? Now you can tap into a primal urge you had no idea you felt until just now. Simply cruise on over to eelslap.com the next time you're feeling angsty.

Photo Courtesy: Eel Slap

There you'll be able to use your cursor to control an online eel as it flaps across the face of an unsuspecting guy. Though this is literally all there is to the entire website, you'll find it delightfully satisfying for reasons that you'll be completely incapable of explaining.

Just a Bunch of Bouncy Cats

Meet the 2019 People's Voice Webby Award winner for the weirdest website of the year. Cat Bounce is exactly what it sounds like. When you log on, you'll see a bunch of 2D cats raining from the top of your browser and bouncing as they hit the bottom of the screen.

Photo Courtesy: cat-bounce.com

It's somewhat interactive and is supposed to help you learn about physics, gravity and velocity, but it never explains quite how. You can click on and move the cats and change the background color, though. Mostly you'll just enjoy it if you like cats and, well, bounciness.

Omg Laser Guns

Looking for a little mindless fun? Then head on over to omglasergunspewpewpew.com. There you'll be tasked with controlling your choice of a space squirrel or rabbit, both of whom are armed with laser guns they use to fire at random objects that float across the screen.

Photo Courtesy: omglasergunspewpewpew.com

While the squirrel is clad in the armor of a traditional space hero, the rabbit also appears to be wearing a pirate hat of some sort. Because why not? It's a great way to blow off a little steam on your lunch break. It even comes complete with "pew pew pew" sounds.

Chewbacca Mom

The one thing you've got to give internet users is that it doesn't take much to collectively amuse them. A few years ago, a Texas mom named Candace Payne was able to unexpectedly cash in on this fact.

Photo Courtesy: Jared Katie/YouTube

It all began when she posted a video of herself laughing hysterically while trying on a Chewbacca mask she'd purchased. Within a few days, the video blew up and became the most viewed Facebook video of all time with 145 million views and 3.2 million shares. She was able to monetize the whole thing and eventually earned $500,000.

Staggering Beauty

You know those blow-up tube guys that are always waving in the wind in front of car lots? Well, now you can enjoy the fun of their mesmerizing wind dance any time from the comfort of your own desk. Just head on over to the questionably named website StaggeringBeauty.com.

Photo Courtesy: staggeringbeauty.com

There, you can control a virtual version of a windy tube creature simply by moving your cursor around the screen. If it doesn't prove to be enough, you can even use the magic of the internet to purchase a miniature one of your very own.

This Free Bobcat Someone Tried to Rehome

Something seemed a little off to potential pet adopters when they came across this cat that a well-meaning citizen had brought into his home. Due to the fact that the cat was plump and well-fed, the guy who "rescued" him was sure he had been someone's pet before, even though the cat was super aggressive.

Photo Courtesy: Craigslist

As it turned out, the man was from overseas and had no idea that wild bobcats roam the woods of America. It was only after concerned users flooded his inbox with replies that he discovered the terrible truth and released the creature into the wild.

This Interactive Toilet Paper Roll

If you're super bored (or a cat), then you're sure to love papertoilet.com, which consists of nothing but a virtual toilet paper roll. You can unroll it to your heart's content simply by clicking on the paper and giving it a good virtual tug. Why? Because. Toilet paper.

Photo Courtesy: papertoilet.com

If this isn't rich enough for your blood, then rest assured that there's also a website out there that sells 24-carat-gold toilet paper just in case you haven't yet discovered any better ways to waste your money.

Pointer Pointer

As weird as pointerpointer.com is, there's also something oddly captivating about it. Basically, whoever's behind it got a bunch of random photos of people pointing. When you log on to the site, you'll be directed to place your cursor anywhere on the screen you want.

Photo Courtesy: pointerpointer.com

When it stops moving, a photo will pop up with someone pointing to the exact last place on the screen your cursor landed. It's one of those things you have to experience for yourself to understand. Be careful though — you might find yourself mildly obsessing over trying to beat it.

The Wilhelm Scream

Although you may not know it, there's a scream you've probably heard hundreds of times before. Known as the Wilhelm scream, it even has its own website where you can call upon it for personal use any time.

Photo Courtesy: wilhelmscream.net

What makes the scream so special is that it's a stock sound effect that's been used in over 400 movies and TV shows since its first appearance in 1951. Usually, you'll hear it when a guy is shot, hurt or falling off of something. You can even see it in action with this compilation of its appearances in various movies.

Find Out If Robots Will Steal Your Job

Will your job still be done by humans in 20 years, or will you too be replaced by a robot? Now you can find out the horrible truth with this tool that was compiled with research from Oxford University and Deloitte.

Photo Courtesy: BBC

The organizations teamed up to come up with a way to measure the likelihood that your job will be stolen by robots over the next couple of decades, based on statistics. Just type in your job or select it from the handy drop-down menu. In seconds you'll know whether you should stay put or panic.

Cicada Challenge 3301

Among the biggest internet mysteries of all time is something called the Cicada Challenge. It's a series of insanely hard puzzles that pop up online from time to time. They're published by a shadowy entity known as the Cicada 3301 Organization.

Photo Courtesy: LEMMiNO/Youtube

The strangest part of the whole thing is that no one has any idea who exactly the organization is or what the point of the puzzles is. They seem to be aimed at weeding out the most brilliant among us, but why? Some say it's the government, others the Illuminati, but no one really knows.

This Pimple Popping Simulator

If you or someone you love has a hard time resisting the temptation to pop pimples every time they appear, you're in luck. The Pop It Pal has made it possible to enjoy the disgusting satisfaction of popping pimples any time without damaging your face.

Photo Courtesy: Pop it Pal/Amazon

Pick away at 16 pimples that release "all-natural" pus from their creepy holes. Not enough popping for you? Fear not, for this thing even comes with refill pus so you can keep the popping fun coming as long as you can stomach it.

The Zoom Quilt

If you ever watched Lamb Chop's Play-Along as a kid, then you may remember the song that never ends. Now there's a zoom that never ends. Some internet wizard out there has come up with a website called Zoom Quilt.

Photo Courtesy: Zoomquilt

When you arrive at the site, a creepy picture appears and your screen immediately starts to zoom in on it. When it zooms in far enough, you'll see another picture and then another — and then another. The whole thing is one big head trip that you could conceivably get pulled into for hours at a time.

The Lick'em Cat Scratcher

If you're looking to take your shameless cat-loving ways to a whole new level entirely, then yes, there's a section of the internet for you too. Now you can return your cat's scratchy little tongue kisses by appearing to lick him back.

Photo Courtesy: Lick'em/Amazon

This device is actually a cat brush that's been fashioned so you can fit it into your mouth and "lick" your cat's fur with it. While even the kitty in the promo photo looks pretty skeeved out by the whole thing, at least it's better than using your real tongue when a head rub simply won't do.

A Dramatic Cry of Indignation

You know how each time someone's plot is foiled in a movie or TV show, they always seem to execute the perfect "noooo!" as they shake their fist at the heavens? Well, now you can too, thanks to nooooooooooooooo.com.

Photo Courtesy: nooooooooooooooo.com

There, you'll find a handy button you can press each time you need to appropriately express your wrath at a given situation. It's now even available in app form for handy cries of defeat on the go. The next time life dishes out its worst, you'll have the perfect cry of indignation, complete with background music.

A Delightfully Anonymous Way to Ruin Anyone's Day

Have you ever wanted to do something truly terrible but ultimately harmless to someone? Sure you have. Now you actually can with complete anonymity. At shipyourenemiesglitter.com you'll find a variety of loathsome things you can have shipped straight to your enemy's door.

Photo Courtesy: ShipYourEnemiesGlitter.com

These unfortunate surprises range from a huge envelope of glitter (complete with a card telling them they deserve it) to a bag of candies with inappropriate shapes. While they'll never know it was you, they'll be reminded of the need to mend their ways as they find specks of glitter around the house for months to come.

A Search Engine for Those Down Days

You know how Google has the little tab that says "I'm feeling lucky?" Well, sorry Google, but not every day is one of those days. Sometimes, we all have those moments when our luck seems to have run dry and we just want to revel in it.

Photo Courtesy: feelingunlucky.today

That's why there's another search engine that caters to your inner pessimist. Just type in your search query and you'll be directed to the absolute last listing that comes up about whatever you're trying to find. After all, who knows what hidden gems lie tucked away for lack of popularity?

These Human Skull-shaped Fire Logs

If you're looking to really freak out your neighbors, throw the creepiest bonfire ever. You can buy these horrifying human skull-shaped logs to load in your fire pit. Whether you're looking to up your Halloween party game or just keep neighborhood kids out of your yard for good, these should do the trick.

Photo Courtesy: Myrad/Amazon

They're a little pricey but bring the ultimate creep factor when lit. So throw a few in the fireplace, kick back with a drink and wait for frightened faces to begin peeking out from behind your neighbors' curtains.

This Website That Never Loads

If patience has never been your strong suit, then get a little practice at a website called patience-is-a-virtue.org. Be forewarned, however, that the whole beauty of this website is that it never actually loads, despite its promises.

Photo Courtesy: Patience-is-a-virtue.com

You'll see the little loading icon churning away in mock effort, but you'll never actually be rewarded for the time you spend waiting. If you can somehow come to peace with this unwavering premise, then your patience problems will officially be over. Plus, you'll have a great website to recommend to anyone you're looking to infuriate.

Join the Pay for Nothing Club

They say that you get what you pay for in this world, but how often have you been disappointed? Well, some genius decided to cash in on the idea of offering the one thing that money can buy that's exactly what it claims to be: nothing.

Photo Courtesy: payfornothing.club

That's right, at payfornothing.club you too can join the unfortunate number of people out there who have paid for absolutely nothing. You'll get your name on a wall of some sort, which isn't necessarily anything to be proud of. It's almost a tad depressing that this scheme worked out.

Turn Yourself Into a Dolphin

If you're looking for a gift for that one friend who has everything (and have $65,000 to blow), then the internet is once more here to save the day. At seabreacher.com you can get a seacraft that's painted to look like a shark, dolphin, whale or another marine animal of your choice.

Photo Courtesy: seabreacher.com

When you're behind the wheel of this high-tech craft, you can launch down beneath the waves or shoot up out of them, dolphin-style. While both insanely expensive and utterly random, you have to admit it does look like a lot of fun.

Bread Stapled to Trees

Reddit is a place where you can find your people, no matter how weird, random or out-there you may happen to be. Take, for instance, the group of folks who have a community completely dedicated to photos of bread they've stapled to trees.

Photo Courtesy: thewhale13/Reddit

Aptly named BreadStapledToTrees, the Subreddit celebrates the victory of people around the globe over unsuspecting trees of all types. Apparently all you have to do to claim victory is staple a random slice of bread to your target tree's trunk. Then simply upload your photo and wait for the accolades to roll in.

An Insanely Creepy Dog Mask

In the annals of creepiness, this dog mask has to be near the top of the list. Who invented it and what their intentions were are things we're not even sure we want to know. Regardless, the mask is the stuff that nightmares are made of.

Photo Courtesy: Creepy Party/Amazon

Worst of all, it's available in several different dog breeds, each more disturbing than the last. If you're looking to really freak someone out or to traumatize a prank victim beyond lengths formerly thought possible, then look no further.

A Possum Massage Tutorial

If you've recently adopted a possum for whatever reason and are looking to make sure it stays nice and relaxed, then look no further than this YouTube video. In it, a woman demonstrates (in a surprisingly legitimate-looking way) how exactly one would go about massaging a possum.

Photo Courtesy: MEpearlA/YouTube

Yes, the possum in the video appears real, and mostly it just looks incredibly confused about what's happening. Things get a bit odder when you head to the woman's website, where you discover that she runs a channel for a dead squirrel named Pearl whom you can ask for advice.

He-Man Sings

If you grew up in the 1980s, then you may remember He-Man. Before there were a million Marvel and DC characters all over our screens, He-Man and his sister She-Ra kept the world safe from the forces of evil.

Photo Courtesy: Hemansings.com

But now that he's presumably retired, it seems that He-Man has tapped into his gentler side. At Hemansings.com, you can enjoy a screen full of him belting out various tunes. At times he even breaks it down and dances a bit. Made from edited clips from the old show, the whole thing is actually pretty hysterical.

This Booty-shaped Pillow

If you like big butts but were never able to lie, then now your troubles are over. Someone out there has come up with a butt-shaped pillow that you can actually lie on. Whether this is something that caters to a fetish or more of a joke, we can't be sure.

Photo Courtesy: The Buttress/YouTube

Regardless, the pillow itself claims to be incredibly comfortable and offers contouring that's supposed to help support the neck. It's perfect if you're looking for something to slap that won't slap back — or just want something unique gracing your bed.

The Million Dollar Homepage

Every now and then someone on the internet has an idea so crazy, you just can't believe it actually worked out. Such was the story behind the Million Dollar Home Page. Back in 2005, a guy named Alex Tew was trying to raise money for college so he made a webpage with a million pixels arranged in a 1000x1000 pixel grid.

Photo Courtesy: milliondollarhomepage.com

He then sold the image-based links on it for $1 per pixel in a series of 10x10px blocks. By the time it was all said and done, he actually raised over a million dollars.

A Variety of Fiverr Offers

If you're looking for someone to do a freelance gig for you, then look no further than the website Fiverr. Here, you can browse through hundreds of freelancers who'll do anything, from designing you a logo to recording you a voiceover.

Photo Courtesy: Tom Roberts/Unsplash

The kicker is that pretty much anyone can offer their services, no matter how random those services may be. For instance, you could have someone record himself saying anything you like while wearing a mask for $5. Maybe you need the services of a woman who'll help you find out if your significant other is committed to you by flirting with them. You can find it all and more on Fiverr.

How to Think of Random Facts About Yourself

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